GMs as Professional Wrestlers (431 views)

[eric]

and now for something completely different

vince mcmahon - Souper Troopers



as if there was any doubt

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randy savage - Lazy Pete



the most successful jews in their respective professions
does soooo much cocaine



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paul e heyman - Heebs



based in the lesser new york area
thought of himself as a contender against the big boys
just goes to show how far swagger, self belief, and no point guard can take you



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christian and edge - Druce and Majic



get it? rcia? christian?
blazer's EDGE? am i right ladies?

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booker t - victorj24



nobody has any idea why they got all those championships
victor does a pretty good spinaroonie



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goldust - @dumptime



kind of carried to success by his daddy dusty rhodes
but kind of turned into a decent wrestler along the way
hunty that fashion sense though

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honky tonk man - Jerry West



honky ass honky
anchor around the neck of stars from elgin baylor to jake roberts to kevin durant
jeff jarrett is a no talent bum
why is a white man on the logo of a 75% black league

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rowdy roddy piper - KwYawnza



get it? sleeper? yawn?
goes on angry rants
just when you think you've got all the answers, he moves to amman
would absolutely get his butt kicked by keith david



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purple board / heenan family
bobby heenan - ANK1990





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andre the giant - Buster 5000



the gentle big man who once filled a hotel tub with one poop
which one of them am i talking about?
yes

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mr. perfect - 20s Navidad



curt hennig one of the greatest intercontinental (i.e. minor league) champions
after an AWA title a thousand years ago never won the big one
20s one of the greatest Western Conference (i.e. minor league) gms
after a title in 3006 has never repeated

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mankind - Bankz



gets the h*ck beat out of him for years
finally gets a title push (jimmy butler)
loses a retirement match a year later to HHH (pizza restaurant)
who's really to blame here? the little boy (society) (also xpac. probably xpac)

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jimmy hart - Trofie



had a ton of young up and comers in his stable (bret hart, big show, randy savage)
all moved on to bigger and better things (tobias harris, champ godbolt, kenny anderson)
trofie always talks through a megaphone

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west texas rednecks - SPL



west texas rednecks opposed rap
spl vehemently opposed interracial proms
do you smell what barack is cooking?



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sting - eric



we didn't have red eye correction back then okay so sue me
if you were at the 03 boston royal rumble you may have seen me
and you may have heard nearby WRESTLING FANS complaining that people shouldn't dress up as Columbine
i can't even right now

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kane - ayyoe



silent
seems like he should have been more over than he actually was
still won a boatload of titles

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undertaker - kn88



consorts with unnatural forces (kyrie jesus and space shuttles)
controls ayyoe with an urn irl
actually nevermind, kn88 has never lost at Wrestlemania


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KroniK - Bruns



get it because marihuana
also i saw them on a plane once after a show in Auburn Georgia and Auburn is actually the bulls official color
don't even start with me about this

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perry saturn - [Account Deleted]



wtf are they doing

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ric flair - dilworth



gene
a great champion in his day
now just kind of hard to watch
both hate formal attire
and books, f*** books too



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ric flair - Mad King





WOO i say MEAN- WOO- WOO BY GOD, GENE
the DIRTiest player in the game get it WOO
(in)famously played arn anderson as a cruiserweight
styling WOO and profiling
huffing and WOO stuffing
wheeling and dealing and dealing WOO and dealing
spinning winning and grinning
limousine flying, WOO jet stealing, kiss riding son of a gun
WOO

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hulk hogan - gbgalla24



hulkamania/mavericks won all the titles
gimmick change to hollywood/thunder
still won all the titles
turned the league against him
what were we gonna do when aaromania ran wild on us?
lose
a lot
gbg is actually suing gawker irl too. no relation

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shawn michaels - Face-in



as good at tearing teams down as he is at building them up
and yes, this makes david robinson marty jannetty
getting rid of injury removal broke fason's heart, kid

[Jerry West]

Don't follow professional wrestling, but can I some how be Razor Ramon? If I remember correctly he is coked out or something now.

[SugarShaun]

Didnt even get a pro wrestler. All the Monday and Thursday nights growing up I spent watching too. I will never forgive you for this Eric

[Heynong Man]

thanks for including me

[Deleted]

I dont know any of this shit

[kn88]

I love it.

[eric]

Apr 26, 2016 20:22:47 GMT -6 SugarShaun said:

Didnt even get a pro wrestler. All the Monday and Thursday nights growing up I spent watching too. I will never forgive you for this Eric

I thought to myself "okay what are shaun's salient characteristics: reasonable, well-mannered. Okay, what wrestler embodies those NOPE NEXT"

i also tried to get Odin in but none of the super bigs fit. the closest was Snitsky and he's kind of obscure

everyone else who didn't get one, do more stuff! and don't take it personal

[Lazy Pete]

OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAH

[Face-in]

I will happily take the greatest wrestler of all time. And getting rid of injury removal did cause me to lose my smile.

[[Account Deleted]]

I'm changing mine from Perry Saturn to Kevin Owens because I have the best headlocks.

HEADLOCK MASTER!

[[Account Deleted]]

Shut up Eric

[Odin]

I have a strict policy of never voting GMs as higher than a 3 but i voted a 4 for not including me in such ridiculous nonsense.

[20s Navidad]

No John Cena?

[Majic]

7 time tag team champions!

Voted greatest Tag Team in the history of wrestling

Legends of our day

[Face-in]

Apr 26, 2016 21:55:05 GMT -6 Odin said:

I have a strict policy of never voting GMs as higher than a 3 but i voted a 4 for not including me in such ridiculous nonsense.

Eric in Sting makeup is worth +5 by itself.

[Face-in]

Apr 26, 2016 20:22:47 GMT -6 SugarShaun said:

Didnt even get a pro wrestler. All the Monday and Thursday nights growing up I spent watching too. I will never forgive you for this Eric

You need to turn heel, the people are clamoring for it.


Right now you're

[eric]

Apr 27, 2016 5:45:16 GMT -6 20s Navidad said:

No John Cena?

i can see all of you

[Odin]

Apr 27, 2016 8:25:17 GMT -6 Face-in said:

Apr 26, 2016 20:22:47 GMT -6 SugarShaun said:

Didnt even get a pro wrestler. All the Monday and Thursday nights growing up I spent watching too. I will never forgive you for this Eric

You need to turn heel, the people are clamoring for it.


Right now you're

you probably shouldn't say "turn heel" to a cavs gm

[Deleted]

Cant believe Eric gave me the gay wrestler

[Trofie]

Eric you'd make an ugly drag queen

[Heebs]

I wish I knew more about who these people are.

[Citizen Cane]

no canes, feelsbadman

[SugarShaun]

Apr 27, 2016 8:29:45 GMT -6 Odin said:

Apr 27, 2016 8:25:17 GMT -6 Face-in said:

You need to turn heel, the people are clamoring for it.


Right now you're

you probably shouldn't say "turn heel" to a cavs gm

I'm now planning to trade away my future picks to build the 10th best team in the East

[Odin]

Apr 27, 2016 11:54:15 GMT -6 SugarShaun said:

Apr 27, 2016 8:29:45 GMT -6 Odin said:

you probably shouldn't say "turn heel" to a cavs gm

I'm now planning to trade away my future picks to build the 10th best team in the East

well boy do i have a veteran sf at the ends of his days just for you

[Deleted]

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[gbgalla24]

Good article, Eric.