Post by 2poor on Jul 9, 2014 9:55:23 GMT -6
Dallas Mavericks
Projected Starting Lineup
Lucius Allen
David Thompson
Larry Kenon
Elvin Hayes
Tom Burleson
Biggest Loss
Tom Boswell
Biggest Addition
Tom Burleson
Projected Conference Finish: 1
If you are the second best team in the league, and the best team in the league loses their best player, then congratulations, you are now the best team in the league. Soup jumped into the league's catbird seat just by standing pat. The big 3 of Thompson, Kenon and Hayes are still here to dominate on both ends of the court, and the Burleson signing means Hayes gets to play PF this season, so expect an uptick in his scoring efficiency. This team should waltz to 60+ wins and the number one seed.
Denver Nuggets
Projected Starting Lineup
Doug Collins
Aaron McKie
George "NAMBLA Member" Gervin
Glenn Robinson
Tree Rollins
Biggest Loss
Bob Love
Biggest Addition
George "Black Hitler" Gervin
Projected Conference Finish: 3
For the second season in a row, Jerry won the offseason. Last year he drafted a player who was good enough as a rookie to make first team all-league, and this year he hit again in the draft, and then stole 2 all-star level players from division rivals. Big Dog and he-who-shall-not-be-named are arguably the best offensive duo in the western conference. Doug Collins provides a better than steady presence at PG, and Tree should be able to hold his own down low. An upgrade at SG is the most pressing need, but really, having a guy who just wants to defend and take the occasional open jumper like Aaron McKie is a pretty good fit by 2 guys who both want to score 30 ppg. Jerry still has a lot of Denver and Charlotte picks, and one suddenly interesting Utah pick, to make a move. This is a very scary team moving forward.
Golden State Warriors
Projected Starting Lineup
Kevin Porter
Gus Williams
Scott Wedman
Carlos Rogers
Bill Laimbeer
Biggest Loss
Ron Boone
Biggest Addition
Kent Benson
Projected Conference Finish: 13
Welcome back to Short Bus Arena, home of the pile of shit devine built. This is a team without direction and without hope. Bill Laimbeer is just counting the days until he can sign with Denver on a below market value deal. I would tell the fans of Golden State that it gets better, but it's going to take a change in management for things to get better.
Houston Rockets
Projected Starting Lineup
Ken Charles
Junior Bridgeman
Truck Robinson
Elmore Smith
Marvin Webster
Biggest Loss
Lionel Hollins
Biggest Addition
Ken Charles
Projected Conference Finish: 9
dil had maybe the worst offseason in all of sim-league. He took a big chance last season, trading away some long-term contracts for better players on expiring deals, and it bit him in the ass. The 3-5 are still very talented players, but the backcourt is maybe the worst one in the league on a non-tanking team. I think dil will be able to salvage something here, but at this time it's tough to put him much higher than this in the rankings.
Los Angeles Clippers
Projected Starting Lineup
John Lucas
Pete Maravich
Magic Johnson
Dave Cowens
Artis Gilmore
Biggest Loss
Mickey Johnson
Biggest Addition
John Lucas
Projected Conference Finish: 2
So if I were dirt, I would have just ran things back with last season's squad and counted on improvement from the league's freakiest player. dirt decided to trade Mickey Johnson for a PG, which means Magic is going to be playing at SF. There is so much talent on this squad that I don't think it's really going to matter until deep into the playoffs, but I thought the insane rebounding and shot blocking Magic brought to the PG position was one of the things that made last year's Clippers squad so terrifying. Another -1 on defense for Maravich is concerning, but this squad is going to outscore enough people that dirt can live with it. Lob City making its first finals of 4.0 this year shouldn't be surprising to anyone.
Los Angeles Lakers
Projected Starting Lineup
TBD
Sidney Moncrief
Julius Erving
Bob McAdoo
Eric Montross
Biggest Loss
Grant Hill
Biggest Addition
Julius Erving
Projected Conference Finish: 4
Fresh off the newest trade-raping of a rookie GM, Buster walks into this season with a Big 3 that is pretty frightening to look at. Moncrief and Dr. J are an ultra talented wing tandem, and Big Bob says hello to his 4th locker room in just over a year. We will see which McAdoo shows up this year. Buster still doesn't have a PG, but there are always plenty to be had. This ranking, more than any other, is the one that I think I could have just totally missed the mark on. With the right PG acquisition, the 1 spot could be in play here.
Memphis Grizzlies
Projected Starting Lineup
Mike D'Antoni
Marques Johnson
Bobby Jones
Cliff Rozier
Sammy Drummer
Biggest Loss
Eduardo Shirley
Biggest Addition
Bobby Jones
Projected Conference Finish: 10
I think druce really shot his wad at least a year too early here, and Bobby Jones was the wrong fit to be the big money addition. He can only play the same positions as druce's 2 building blocks, neither of whom have shown they are actually worth building around. Druce has some worthless Celtics picks to throw around, so maybe he can make a move to improve this roster, but he really should have tanked his brains out this year and hoped for MJ or Hakeem.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Projected Starting Lineup
Charlie Ward
Bill Bradley
Dante Schack
Mark Eaton
Swen Nater
Biggest Loss
Don Adams
Biggest Addition
Dion Alexander
Projected Conference Finish: 11
Ian has the opposite problem of druce: he's tanking his brains out, but he has a good PG, and two elite defensive centers. Even with the straight up garbage he has at the wing spots, I think it's going to take some real lotto luck to get Ian the #1 pick he pleasures himself to the thought of. It'll be interesting to see how much Ian will bend the rules during his tank job, after being such an uppity cunt about the rules with everyone else.
New Orleans Pelicans
Projected Starting Lineup
Johnny Moore
Alexis Gardner
Bill Robinzine
Jack Sikma
Ineeacles Cayclesh
Biggest Loss
Peyton Montana
Biggest Addition
Jack "you make me" Sikma
Projected Conference Finish: 14
Oops has officially bottomed out. Except for the desperate to get out of town Bill Robinzine, there is nothing resembling an actual basketball player on this roster, and new draft pick Jack Sikma looks like one of the most useless pieces of shit I've ever seen. Sim Jordan is going to walk into this locker room next year and just ruin everyone mentally.
Oklahoma City Blunder
Projected Starting Lineup
Ron Boone
Adrian Dantley's max contract
Dan Roundfield's max contract
Lonnie Shelton
Darryl Dawkins' max contract
Biggest Loss
Bobby Jones
Biggest Addition
Darryl Dawkins
Projected Conference Finish: 7
JHB just got trade raped by rw. Let that sink in before we proceed. He let rw beat him in a trade. Simply stunning. Anyway, this is not a roster without talent. It should be able to defend extremely well, but Lonnie and Dantley are going to need to combine for about 55 ppg to make this a team people need to be worried about. They should make the playoffs, and be unceremoniously dumped by an LA squad or Dallas. It's cool though, we are now only 5 years away from JHB having a first round pick. This is like watching a drug addict GM. He knows he shouldn't trade more first round picks, but he just can't help it.
Phoenix Suns
Projected Starting Lineup
Don Russell
Alex English
Bernard King
Mitch Kupchak
Matthew Irish
Biggest Loss
Allan Bristow
Biggest Addition
Bernard King
Projected Conference Finish: 12
Mitch Kupchak's max deal is still here. John Williamson still isn't because of it. Bernard King looks like he's going to be something. I don't know, are we sure that mops was the problem? Maybe that's just a cursed sim franchise.
Portland Trailblazers
Projected Starting Lineup
Ricky Sobers
Bob Dandridge
Dan Issel
John Shumate
Bill Walton
Biggest Loss
Wil Jones
Biggest Addition
some post-TC scrub
Projected Conference Finish: 5
This is another one that could end up being way higher. The top 3 of the Pacific is a really big mishmash of great looking teams. duc finally walks into a season with a full complement of players around Bill Walton, the league's most destructive force. Sobers, Dandrige and Issel can all go off for 20 any night. Shumate is a more than adequate big man to pair with Walton. The starting lineup is great, and hopefully Walton can make up for some of the defensive shortcomings of the guards.
Seattle Supersonics
Projected Starting Lineup
Randy Smith
Robert Hawkins
Kermit Washington
Julius Auerbach
Robert Parish
Biggest Loss
Nate Williams
Biggest Addition
some post-TC scrub
Projected Conference Finish: 8
I don't really know how to feel about this Seattle squad, since I have no idea how he did what he did last year. I've had him everywhere between 6 and 10. Parish is a legit star at Center, and the backcourt is quite solid. Losing Williams really hurts, and there is now an enormous hole at one of the forward spots, which yawn is going to have to scramble to fill as best he can.
Utah Jazz
Projected Starting Lineup
Don Buse
Rick Barry
Norm "not George Gervin" Cook
George Johnson
Jim Brewer
Biggest Loss
George "dog rapist" Gervin
Biggest Addition
Norm "This will end in tears" Cook
Projected Conference Finish: 6
The dynasty is over. I can only assume Odin resimmed FA several times until Gervin bailed on me, because that decision makes no sense at all. I still have a talented enough roster that I think I'm a lock for the playoffs, but instead of playing deep into them, I am going to get dumpstered really early. Buse and Barry still might be the best backcourt in the league, and Johnson is still here to clean glass and block shots. The rest of the roster is decaying pretty rapidly though. Changes are a comin'.
Projected Starting Lineup
Lucius Allen
David Thompson
Larry Kenon
Elvin Hayes
Tom Burleson
Biggest Loss
Tom Boswell
Biggest Addition
Tom Burleson
Projected Conference Finish: 1
If you are the second best team in the league, and the best team in the league loses their best player, then congratulations, you are now the best team in the league. Soup jumped into the league's catbird seat just by standing pat. The big 3 of Thompson, Kenon and Hayes are still here to dominate on both ends of the court, and the Burleson signing means Hayes gets to play PF this season, so expect an uptick in his scoring efficiency. This team should waltz to 60+ wins and the number one seed.
Denver Nuggets
Projected Starting Lineup
Doug Collins
Aaron McKie
George "NAMBLA Member" Gervin
Glenn Robinson
Tree Rollins
Biggest Loss
Bob Love
Biggest Addition
George "Black Hitler" Gervin
Projected Conference Finish: 3
For the second season in a row, Jerry won the offseason. Last year he drafted a player who was good enough as a rookie to make first team all-league, and this year he hit again in the draft, and then stole 2 all-star level players from division rivals. Big Dog and he-who-shall-not-be-named are arguably the best offensive duo in the western conference. Doug Collins provides a better than steady presence at PG, and Tree should be able to hold his own down low. An upgrade at SG is the most pressing need, but really, having a guy who just wants to defend and take the occasional open jumper like Aaron McKie is a pretty good fit by 2 guys who both want to score 30 ppg. Jerry still has a lot of Denver and Charlotte picks, and one suddenly interesting Utah pick, to make a move. This is a very scary team moving forward.
Golden State Warriors
Projected Starting Lineup
Kevin Porter
Gus Williams
Scott Wedman
Carlos Rogers
Bill Laimbeer
Biggest Loss
Ron Boone
Biggest Addition
Kent Benson
Projected Conference Finish: 13
Welcome back to Short Bus Arena, home of the pile of shit devine built. This is a team without direction and without hope. Bill Laimbeer is just counting the days until he can sign with Denver on a below market value deal. I would tell the fans of Golden State that it gets better, but it's going to take a change in management for things to get better.
Houston Rockets
Projected Starting Lineup
Ken Charles
Junior Bridgeman
Truck Robinson
Elmore Smith
Marvin Webster
Biggest Loss
Lionel Hollins
Biggest Addition
Ken Charles
Projected Conference Finish: 9
dil had maybe the worst offseason in all of sim-league. He took a big chance last season, trading away some long-term contracts for better players on expiring deals, and it bit him in the ass. The 3-5 are still very talented players, but the backcourt is maybe the worst one in the league on a non-tanking team. I think dil will be able to salvage something here, but at this time it's tough to put him much higher than this in the rankings.
Los Angeles Clippers
Projected Starting Lineup
John Lucas
Pete Maravich
Magic Johnson
Dave Cowens
Artis Gilmore
Biggest Loss
Mickey Johnson
Biggest Addition
John Lucas
Projected Conference Finish: 2
So if I were dirt, I would have just ran things back with last season's squad and counted on improvement from the league's freakiest player. dirt decided to trade Mickey Johnson for a PG, which means Magic is going to be playing at SF. There is so much talent on this squad that I don't think it's really going to matter until deep into the playoffs, but I thought the insane rebounding and shot blocking Magic brought to the PG position was one of the things that made last year's Clippers squad so terrifying. Another -1 on defense for Maravich is concerning, but this squad is going to outscore enough people that dirt can live with it. Lob City making its first finals of 4.0 this year shouldn't be surprising to anyone.
Los Angeles Lakers
Projected Starting Lineup
TBD
Sidney Moncrief
Julius Erving
Bob McAdoo
Eric Montross
Biggest Loss
Grant Hill
Biggest Addition
Julius Erving
Projected Conference Finish: 4
Fresh off the newest trade-raping of a rookie GM, Buster walks into this season with a Big 3 that is pretty frightening to look at. Moncrief and Dr. J are an ultra talented wing tandem, and Big Bob says hello to his 4th locker room in just over a year. We will see which McAdoo shows up this year. Buster still doesn't have a PG, but there are always plenty to be had. This ranking, more than any other, is the one that I think I could have just totally missed the mark on. With the right PG acquisition, the 1 spot could be in play here.
Memphis Grizzlies
Projected Starting Lineup
Mike D'Antoni
Marques Johnson
Bobby Jones
Cliff Rozier
Sammy Drummer
Biggest Loss
Eduardo Shirley
Biggest Addition
Bobby Jones
Projected Conference Finish: 10
I think druce really shot his wad at least a year too early here, and Bobby Jones was the wrong fit to be the big money addition. He can only play the same positions as druce's 2 building blocks, neither of whom have shown they are actually worth building around. Druce has some worthless Celtics picks to throw around, so maybe he can make a move to improve this roster, but he really should have tanked his brains out this year and hoped for MJ or Hakeem.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Projected Starting Lineup
Charlie Ward
Bill Bradley
Dante Schack
Mark Eaton
Swen Nater
Biggest Loss
Don Adams
Biggest Addition
Dion Alexander
Projected Conference Finish: 11
Ian has the opposite problem of druce: he's tanking his brains out, but he has a good PG, and two elite defensive centers. Even with the straight up garbage he has at the wing spots, I think it's going to take some real lotto luck to get Ian the #1 pick he pleasures himself to the thought of. It'll be interesting to see how much Ian will bend the rules during his tank job, after being such an uppity cunt about the rules with everyone else.
New Orleans Pelicans
Projected Starting Lineup
Johnny Moore
Alexis Gardner
Bill Robinzine
Jack Sikma
Ineeacles Cayclesh
Biggest Loss
Peyton Montana
Biggest Addition
Jack "you make me" Sikma
Projected Conference Finish: 14
Oops has officially bottomed out. Except for the desperate to get out of town Bill Robinzine, there is nothing resembling an actual basketball player on this roster, and new draft pick Jack Sikma looks like one of the most useless pieces of shit I've ever seen. Sim Jordan is going to walk into this locker room next year and just ruin everyone mentally.
Oklahoma City Blunder
Projected Starting Lineup
Ron Boone
Adrian Dantley's max contract
Dan Roundfield's max contract
Lonnie Shelton
Darryl Dawkins' max contract
Biggest Loss
Bobby Jones
Biggest Addition
Darryl Dawkins
Projected Conference Finish: 7
JHB just got trade raped by rw. Let that sink in before we proceed. He let rw beat him in a trade. Simply stunning. Anyway, this is not a roster without talent. It should be able to defend extremely well, but Lonnie and Dantley are going to need to combine for about 55 ppg to make this a team people need to be worried about. They should make the playoffs, and be unceremoniously dumped by an LA squad or Dallas. It's cool though, we are now only 5 years away from JHB having a first round pick. This is like watching a drug addict GM. He knows he shouldn't trade more first round picks, but he just can't help it.
Phoenix Suns
Projected Starting Lineup
Don Russell
Alex English
Bernard King
Mitch Kupchak
Matthew Irish
Biggest Loss
Allan Bristow
Biggest Addition
Bernard King
Projected Conference Finish: 12
Mitch Kupchak's max deal is still here. John Williamson still isn't because of it. Bernard King looks like he's going to be something. I don't know, are we sure that mops was the problem? Maybe that's just a cursed sim franchise.
Portland Trailblazers
Projected Starting Lineup
Ricky Sobers
Bob Dandridge
Dan Issel
John Shumate
Bill Walton
Biggest Loss
Wil Jones
Biggest Addition
some post-TC scrub
Projected Conference Finish: 5
This is another one that could end up being way higher. The top 3 of the Pacific is a really big mishmash of great looking teams. duc finally walks into a season with a full complement of players around Bill Walton, the league's most destructive force. Sobers, Dandrige and Issel can all go off for 20 any night. Shumate is a more than adequate big man to pair with Walton. The starting lineup is great, and hopefully Walton can make up for some of the defensive shortcomings of the guards.
Seattle Supersonics
Projected Starting Lineup
Randy Smith
Robert Hawkins
Kermit Washington
Julius Auerbach
Robert Parish
Biggest Loss
Nate Williams
Biggest Addition
some post-TC scrub
Projected Conference Finish: 8
I don't really know how to feel about this Seattle squad, since I have no idea how he did what he did last year. I've had him everywhere between 6 and 10. Parish is a legit star at Center, and the backcourt is quite solid. Losing Williams really hurts, and there is now an enormous hole at one of the forward spots, which yawn is going to have to scramble to fill as best he can.
Utah Jazz
Projected Starting Lineup
Don Buse
Rick Barry
Norm "not George Gervin" Cook
George Johnson
Jim Brewer
Biggest Loss
George "dog rapist" Gervin
Biggest Addition
Norm "This will end in tears" Cook
Projected Conference Finish: 6
The dynasty is over. I can only assume Odin resimmed FA several times until Gervin bailed on me, because that decision makes no sense at all. I still have a talented enough roster that I think I'm a lock for the playoffs, but instead of playing deep into them, I am going to get dumpstered really early. Buse and Barry still might be the best backcourt in the league, and Johnson is still here to clean glass and block shots. The rest of the roster is decaying pretty rapidly though. Changes are a comin'.