Post by eric on May 17, 2017 10:56:04 GMT -6
Here are the top five prospects from the drag queen draft class. Other queens would be worse, I would have a range.
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Adore Delano
19
6'
190
PG
UC Azusa
B C+ B- C C A
A very young prospect oozing with upside, Delano can jump out of the gym and finish at close range with the best. On the defensive end she's from Azusa. She'll stab a b!@#%.
This is not a legal defensive technique, one of many concerns scouts have. It's charming to party every night, but when you're on the second end of a back to back in noted nightlife hot spots Cleveland and Buffalo will her team be able to rely on her? Documented issues dealing with criticism from pick and roll savant Simon Cowell and team co-vice-captain Michelle Visage raise questions of coachability. Dalliances with a singing career only exacerbate focus red flags. Needs to end up in a professional button down organization to have best chance of success.
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Jinkx Monsoon
22
6'
205
PG
Seattle University
C+ B A- C+ C- B
Gary Payton. Isaiah Thomas. Is Jinkx Monsoon the next great Seattle point guard?
Monsoon is far more polished than the other points in this class, has a great feel for the game and works well within a team concept. She's had difficulty shaking a minor controversy when she was seen asleep on the bench during a conference game in December, but teammates and coaches all swear by her professionalism and locker room character. Lethal jump shot out to 19 feet, sublime handles, the biggest concerns for scouts are modest athleticism and lack of a killer instinct - Monsoon is happier getting everyone open looks than getting to the bucket, and if the fans give her grief for it it's just water off a duck's back.
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Latrice Royale
24
7'
285
C
Compton State Prison
B+ C D+ B+ A B
Don't let the congenial attitude fool you, Royale has no qualms getting physical in the paint. She's more than just a banger though, her ability to Be In Total Control of Herself makes her an excellent rebounder and solid post defender.
An older prospect, Royale is closer to a finished product at this point but with no real holes in her game she should be ready to contribute from day one. Solid but not spectacular scorer both inside and from the line, if a GM can squeeze a little more potential from those juicy curves and swerves Royale has elite two way potential.
EAT IT!
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Ru Paul
32
7'1
250
C
Morehouse College
A- B D B+ B+ D
America's first drag superstar, Ru Paul is poised to be sim league's first drag superstar from day one. Glamazon level strength, outstanding post moves honed over decades of werk, silky jump shot, lace front three pointer. Her defensive chops have faded a bit as her athleticism declines but putting up with Michele Visage every day will keep anyone sharp, can I get an amen?
We're all born naked, but some of us have been wearing clothes a lot longer, no T no shade. A GM drafting can't be at the start of a ten year rebuilding project, and has to recognize that there's only one black queen on the chessboard. Three simple messages for the GM that lucks into 1.1.
Condragulations.
Good luck.
And DON'T f!@# it up.
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Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova
21
6'7
230
SF
Lenin
C A B C- C A
Davai, liga modelirovanie. Zamolodchikova (or Maureen McDougall to her friends) is just your average run-of-the-mill Russian bisexual transvestite hooker with a jump shot that won't quit and quickness to match. Her range is intercontinental, there's no shot she can't hit. A comrade of CSKA Moscow since before birth, she has been endlessly drilled in the Soviet style. In Russia, death sex and basketball are the same: cold, wet, dark, and painful.
The culture shock, language barrier, and prostitution laws are all possible issues for a foreign player coming on an American club. Katya didn't help matters by referring to the pre draft combine as "when we all dress up in latex frog costumes and go through a fiery obstacle course." But every scout came away agreeing that there's real talent and amazing flexibility here. If only the USSR had learned how to play defense maybe we wouldn't have kicked their butts in Cold War I, and maybe Katya would be an elite prospect, so there's work to do on that side of the ball, but I believe it was the great American painter Bob Ross who said that 'ball skills and outside shooting for a player her size is a great place to start, my name is Bob Ross.'
Well said, Bob Ross. Well said.
.
.
.
Adore Delano
19
6'
190
PG
UC Azusa
B C+ B- C C A
A very young prospect oozing with upside, Delano can jump out of the gym and finish at close range with the best. On the defensive end she's from Azusa. She'll stab a b!@#%.
This is not a legal defensive technique, one of many concerns scouts have. It's charming to party every night, but when you're on the second end of a back to back in noted nightlife hot spots Cleveland and Buffalo will her team be able to rely on her? Documented issues dealing with criticism from pick and roll savant Simon Cowell and team co-vice-captain Michelle Visage raise questions of coachability. Dalliances with a singing career only exacerbate focus red flags. Needs to end up in a professional button down organization to have best chance of success.
.
.
.
Jinkx Monsoon
22
6'
205
PG
Seattle University
C+ B A- C+ C- B
Gary Payton. Isaiah Thomas. Is Jinkx Monsoon the next great Seattle point guard?
Monsoon is far more polished than the other points in this class, has a great feel for the game and works well within a team concept. She's had difficulty shaking a minor controversy when she was seen asleep on the bench during a conference game in December, but teammates and coaches all swear by her professionalism and locker room character. Lethal jump shot out to 19 feet, sublime handles, the biggest concerns for scouts are modest athleticism and lack of a killer instinct - Monsoon is happier getting everyone open looks than getting to the bucket, and if the fans give her grief for it it's just water off a duck's back.
.
.
.
Latrice Royale
24
7'
285
C
Compton State Prison
B+ C D+ B+ A B
Don't let the congenial attitude fool you, Royale has no qualms getting physical in the paint. She's more than just a banger though, her ability to Be In Total Control of Herself makes her an excellent rebounder and solid post defender.
An older prospect, Royale is closer to a finished product at this point but with no real holes in her game she should be ready to contribute from day one. Solid but not spectacular scorer both inside and from the line, if a GM can squeeze a little more potential from those juicy curves and swerves Royale has elite two way potential.
EAT IT!
.
.
.
Ru Paul
32
7'1
250
C
Morehouse College
A- B D B+ B+ D
America's first drag superstar, Ru Paul is poised to be sim league's first drag superstar from day one. Glamazon level strength, outstanding post moves honed over decades of werk, silky jump shot, lace front three pointer. Her defensive chops have faded a bit as her athleticism declines but putting up with Michele Visage every day will keep anyone sharp, can I get an amen?
We're all born naked, but some of us have been wearing clothes a lot longer, no T no shade. A GM drafting can't be at the start of a ten year rebuilding project, and has to recognize that there's only one black queen on the chessboard. Three simple messages for the GM that lucks into 1.1.
Condragulations.
Good luck.
And DON'T f!@# it up.
.
.
.
Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova
21
6'7
230
SF
Lenin
C A B C- C A
Davai, liga modelirovanie. Zamolodchikova (or Maureen McDougall to her friends) is just your average run-of-the-mill Russian bisexual transvestite hooker with a jump shot that won't quit and quickness to match. Her range is intercontinental, there's no shot she can't hit. A comrade of CSKA Moscow since before birth, she has been endlessly drilled in the Soviet style. In Russia, death sex and basketball are the same: cold, wet, dark, and painful.
The culture shock, language barrier, and prostitution laws are all possible issues for a foreign player coming on an American club. Katya didn't help matters by referring to the pre draft combine as "when we all dress up in latex frog costumes and go through a fiery obstacle course." But every scout came away agreeing that there's real talent and amazing flexibility here. If only the USSR had learned how to play defense maybe we wouldn't have kicked their butts in Cold War I, and maybe Katya would be an elite prospect, so there's work to do on that side of the ball, but I believe it was the great American painter Bob Ross who said that 'ball skills and outside shooting for a player her size is a great place to start, my name is Bob Ross.'
Well said, Bob Ross. Well said.
