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Post by [Account Deleted] on May 26, 2017 7:43:06 GMT -6
Welcome back to your favorite game of overreacting to small sample sizes! Here we go:
Indiana Pacers - "Patrick Ewing and Alonzo Mourning somehow glitched when they were created and they progress in the sim like Benjamin Button."
MVP? It's probably not sustainable, but Ewing is murdering the league (8 33.3 22.3 12.9 1.1 1.8 3.4 0.4 .482 .847 .000) and Mourning in limited time is averaging 27 points, 18 rebounds, a steal and two blocks per 36 on .667/1.000/.000 percentages. It's not fair.
Miami Heat - "Jimmy Jackson finally died. Thanks for nothing, delap."
I think I've made this overreaction like four years in a row now. Carry on.
St. Louis Hawks - "Chris Morris is all-everything."
Well he doesn't play defense so that's not true, but this is nice: SF 7 35.9 26.0 7.3 2.7 1.6 0.4 1.3 .520 .865 .263.
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG.
Cincinnati Royals - "1. Charlie Tyra, more like Charlie Tired of Playing Sim Ball. 2. CMVP3, best ast/to ratio ever?"
Charlie Toast. Charlie Tired. Charlie Time to sit the bench. I've got jokes.
Don't look now but CP3 literally put up a 10:1 ast/to ratio in sim 1. Most of our elite PGs are around a 5:1 ratio. I'm sure this is sustainable...
Buffalo Braves - "It may be time to tap out."
I mean have you seen the Pacers, Heat, Raptors, Royals, Hawks, Bullets, etc? The Eastern Conference is basically a coin flip this year anyways. Probably time to give up on this iteration of the squad, especially since there is zero depth and not much in the frontcourt after Eddie Griffin.
Toronto Raptors - "We gotta trade for a FR*CKING big."
Somehow this
Tracy McGrady SF 10 39.1 32.4 6.7 4.3 1.4 0.4 1.4 .476 .852 .365
Markelle Fultz PG 10 38.1 30.5 7.0 4.1 2.4 1.0 1.9 .511 .923 .467
Gilbert Arenas PG 6 38.3 30.5 5.7 8.7 1.8 0.2 3.5 .469 .970 .371
lost to the tanking Hornets twice. I presume because of this:
Marquese Chriss C 10 35.8 10.7 11.2 2.4 0.8 3.0 1.3 .393 .759 .000
DeSagana Diop C 10 31.1 3.7 10.8 1.4 1.1 3.2 0.5 .389 .600 .000
Jerome Whitehead C 10 7.3 0.8 3.2 0.4 0.3 0.8 0.4 .333 1.000 .000
Mark Blount C 10 22.8 2.6 5.9 1.2 0.4 1.3 0.7 .324 .400 .000
Chicago Bulls - "Hey we're doing that thing again."
Inevitably every preseason or Sim 1 the Bulls have a winning record and people say "are the Bulls good now" and inevitably the answer is always no.
Milwaukee Bucks - "Wait why did we sign all these free agents, I thought we were tanking?"
I'm not sure if this is by design but Milwaukee is at .500 and in the playoffs, which is exactly the worst place for a rebuilding team to be.
Washington Bullets - "Now that 3/5 starters are expiring and we're not in the playoffs, I feel much better about going all in for Kyle "Trailblazer" Korver and Prince last year."
Washington has a better point differential than the Hawks right now. They're fine.
Charlotte Hornets - "Where was this Detlef last year when I decided to blow it up?"
Detlef is so available: SF 5 33.0 25.6 7.0 2.4 1.0 0.4 2.2 .571 .905 .542
Boston Celtics - "*sarcasm* This is a team with a vision that is going places. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. Trust me. 
"
Just woof at that offseason. DSJr doesn't look like a SG, Wallace still has his obvious flaws. How much can he get for Jason C. Williams?
New York Knicks - "*sarcasm again* Boy am I glad I locked up foundational pieces Mo Williams and Johan Petro moving forward."
Johan Petro C 6 27.2 5.8 8.7 1.5 0.7 2.2 1.7 .368 .438 .000
Mo Williams PG 6 8.2 3.7 0.8 2.8 0.3 0.0 0.3 .304 1.000 .000
Yikes. They'll regress to the mean. Right? RIGHT?
Fort Wayne Pistons - "I have no idea what I'm doing."
*Signs one of the most underrated players in terms of WS/48 in the offseason (Boris Diaw) and a returning Buddy Hield on a 3-year deal
*Sits them in favor of Vinny Del Supersub
*Is giving minutes to Udonis Haslem and Carlos Boozer over Tito Horford
*Does not profit, goes 2-7, has worst defense in TMBSL
Cleveland Cavaliers - "At least Kyle Guy looks interesting."
Per 36: 21.2 ppg, 5.6 rpg, 5.1 apg, .8 spg, 1.6 topg on .600/.846/.571
He was a big board top 10 guy. 
Orlando Magic - "We are only good at losing."
It didn't just start when we started tanking either! It probably won't stop soon! Jokic sucks, Manning sucks. Scruggs more like Scrubbs. Diallo has a long way to go. Like this team.
Los Angeles Lakers - "We are the best team in sim league."
This team is strong at every spot, well-balanced, and has good depth. I'll allow it.
Dallas Mavericks - "Finally GM Dirt's vision is coming together, we're leading the division!"
Eh, probably not. This team has a negative point differential. Billy Preston isn't a suitable big. Dajuan Wagner hasn't really improved since his rookie year. Henderson looks to be losing his edge. What's going on with the wings? Chet and who? This team has a lot of holes. Poor Soup.
Golden State Warriors - "Josh Jackson is good, look at my good GM'ing!"
He still doesn't play great D, turns it over 3 times a game, and shoots with no efficiency. Wrong. There's a reason he was worth 1.6 win shares last season and it's not all Odin's fault. There's no way this level of play is sustainable for the Warriors with bigs this bad.
Seattle Supersonics - "Oh no we're in fourth! 
"
I mean at this point there's nothing to overreact to. This iteration of the Fighting Fason's has consistently played at the highest level of TMBSL for awhile now. There's no way they stay this low in the standings.
Portland Trailblazers - "I'd rather have too many good players, bro."
This guy averaging less than 18 points per 36 that doesn't defend is going to make 93.75 million of your cap for the next six years: Kyle Korver SF 8 20.8 9.9 4.6 1.8 0.8 0.0 0.9 .561 .857 .500
Woof.
San Antonio Spurs - "Don't mind us we're just resting on our laurels."
Lonzo isn't off to a hot start and even with most of the key pieces back they're sitting at 6th in the conference with a narrow point differential. This is definitely an overreaction. They'll be fine.
LeBron James - "Can you just give me some guards to play with dude? Shit."
LeBron is once again carrying the team on his back to the brink of being in the playoffs because of subpar guard play.
Minnesota Timberwolves - "Good thing we addressed the frontcourt issues."
Once again, this is a starting Timberwolves big:
Marc Jackson C 10 29.6 12.4 10.4 0.8 1.2 1.0 1.0 .350 .764 .000
Don't waste Bird, Long, and Lillard's last good years ayyoe, get another big!
Phoenix Suns - "We're like...good again?"
I'm still not buying the Suns. Sexton may already be one of the best in the league, I'm just not buying that what he has on the wings is ready to take a team to the title. And I wouldn't want to have to count on AD and Taft for all my secondary scoring.
Vancouver Grizzlies - "WE'RE ONE PIECE AWAY. I JUST NEED A SMALL FORWARD. IT'S FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE"
Yeah, totally man.
Denver Nuggets - "I'm really glad I turned down a Lue trade for Caron because he is putting up great numbers on my bench."
Utah Jazz - "Jazz on the block!"
Oh damn, SPL beat me to it. Not a good start for the Jazz. At least Dunn will net you a King's ransom on the trade market.
San Diego Clippers - "Oh no. Porter and Anderson suck."
Dial back the concern. Anderson's already shown what he can do and I think Porter will be alright. There will be more to come as well.
New Orleans Pelicans - "Come get one of our "promising" young SF's for a 2nd rounder!"
LMFAO
Anthony Mason PF 6 24.8 15.2 8.2 1.7 0.3 0.0 0.8 .372 .867 .167
OG Anunoby SF 6 6.8 5.3 1.7 0.7 0.2 0.0 0.7 .478 .750 .667
Tim Thomas SF 6 33.5 20.7 6.8 2.2 1.2 1.5 2.7 .429 .938 .526
Mike Dunleavy SF 6 35.5 11.2 6.2 2.2 1.2 0.2 1.7 .394 .857 .385
Grant Long SF 6 31.0 18.0 8.5 2.2 1.0 1.7 2.8 .427 .974 .000
