Post by Heebs on Mar 7, 2017 11:50:02 GMT -6
Chris Taft
33
C
6'10"
330
Pitt
B+ C+ C+ B B+ D
America loves redemption stories. Think Mickey Rourke in the Wrestler, or Jamal Jaffries in Juwanna Mann. This here is a story of a preternatural talent that pissed it all away and found himself at rock bottom. Only through hard work, dedication and a newfound love for the game is he poised to finally make his mark in TMBSL. Chris Taft was once the crown jewel in the Panthers recruiting class. After a stellar freshman year in which Taft displayed sublime handles and a perfect stroke enroute to Big East Freshman of the Year, Taft entered the draft. While some believe he ill-advisedly entered the draft too early, reports are that Coach Dixon tried to get Taft to hire transgendered hookers on craigslist for upcoming official visitors. When he refused, Coach Dixon reported Taft’s role as the commissioner in a $25 dollar fantasy baseball league to the NCAA. Facing NCAA suspension, Taft declared and the rest is history. He wound up giving up the game he once adored. Until now. With a special release secured pro bono by the Real Mark Cuban's real life sim attorneys, Taft is eligible for the 3048 TMBSL draft. There is tremendous buzz at local gyms in Pittsburgh that Taft is putting on a clinic of old man post moves, a flawless midrange game, and clever passes night in and night out and that this one time star is finally going to make his mark in the league he seemed destined to run.
Strengths:
Taft is a load down low. He’s perfected the dark arts taught to him by local steel workers, pipefitters and personal injury attorneys at the YCMA. If allowed to post up, Taft will unleash a series of herky jerky movements, stutter steps and push offs to get the ball in the hoop. A steady diet of Pierogies and French fries on his sandwiches has given Taft the body and strength of a doughy farmboy. He may not look pretty in a t-shirt but he will move a defender off their spot. Taft still displays the silky smooth jump shot from inside the arc and from deep that once made talent evaluators drool. His handles are great and he’s developed the ability to pass into areas no wider than a case of Iron City for an easy bucket. He is relentless on the offensive boards, using his strength and massive girth to move would-be rebounders out of position.
Weaknesses:
Years of drinking light beer and full bodied cigarettes has sapped Taft’s once incredible athleticism. Taft’s vertical is in the single digits (and we're talking metric here) and Edward Smith made faster turns. Unless his opponent is standing in front of him or bodying up against him it’s unlikely Taft will not put up much of a fight. Takes some plays off to put a dip in. A player once viewed with unlimited potential is now questioned for what he has left. Has a tattoo of President Taft on his pubic bone.
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