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Post by [Account Deleted] on Apr 29, 2017 16:26:25 GMT -6
Welcome back to your favorite game of overreaction to small sample sizes! Instead of breaking this into two articles and being a dump buck whore, here comes some fun for everyone! Enjoy!
Atlantic Division - "I guess someone is going to have to win this division."
Verdict: Fason left and the shine is gone. The best team's two best players play the same position. The returning champs are holding it together based on a transcendant performance by a player who may not be on their team next year. The third best team plays its games at the retirement home. Not a great division. Time for Eric to stop pimping the "Beastlantic".
Boston Celtics - "Defense wins championships, welcome back to the Celtics dynasty!"
Verdict: I'm having a hard time believing what I'm seeing on the offensive end out of a team with normally inefficient guys like Gerald Wallace, Roger Phegley, Darko Milicic, Anthony Davis...but it's working so far. Even if the offense tapers off a bit, the defense is elite. This is a clear playoff team, a potential division winner, and perhaps a contender...but too early to call them a favorite.
Miami Heat - "Shard who?"
Verdict: Ben Simmons is clearly joining the class of elite players in this league. The defense that trailed the rest of his game is coming along strong in the last season of his rookie deal and he's beginning to shoot some more threes. He's still only 22 and still has A potential. Scary. However, he's still not Shard because he can't match the outside shooting volume/efficiency...YET. I can't wait for him to leave Miami so Canes can wish the new GM who signed him his best wishes.
New York Knicks - "Mo Williams is the future of Monroe Square Garden."
Verdict: Lol he has to be since the team's average age is 37 and Eric traded all his assets to bump that number up last season. Also, he's a very efficient scoring point guard, so there is a bright side for all of the Knicks' fans out there.
Buffalo Braves - "Alredick is going to shatter the sim league record for turnovers in a season while also being one of the best shooting guards in the league."
Verdict: It was discussed in shout earlier today, but with the scoring volume and efficiency, rebounding and defense Alredick gives you, I think you live with his turnovers so long as the players around him aren't doing the same thing. However, he's not going to come close to the turnover per game record of 6.3 set by Matthew Jacobson. I'd have to defer to Eric for the actual record for total turnovers in the season, but I very much doubt that he sets that with the prominence of elite tanking point guards.
Washington Bullets - "KN is pooping the bed by not getting a real SF and PG and contending while TD and Yao only cost 5-7 million total together and not 27 million like they will in three seasons."
Verdict: They may not be ready to take the jump to contending for a title, but I'm not exactly sure what adding the 16th pick in the draft is going to do for them next year. Regardless, Timmy and Yao is the premier two-way big duo in the league, Majerle is a dead-eye, and everyone else is garbage. Fix it and compete KN, it's time.
Toronto Raptors - "Sam Jones' career and the Raptors' title hopes in 3048 are both dead."
Verdict: Yikes. Doesn't look good Sam, should have taken an offseason trip to Germany. Good news is Pete still has the horses to compete. Sam may be dead but the Raptors are very much alive.
Orlando Magic - "Welcome to your tape, 3048 Orlando Magic. This is GM MJ, live and in stereo..."
Verdict: I did not expect things to be this bad in Orlando after MJ entered the offseason with four lottery picks. But Danny Manning put up a 0 in TC and Jokic is trash, so here we are. Stay positive, MJ.
Central Division - "This division sucks."
Verdict: This is accurate. 3 playoff teams and the rest are shameless tankers or poorly managed. Sorry Lip. Not a great offseason buddy. Get 'em next time.
St. Louis Hawks - "Frank Ntilikina is TMBSL's next Point God."
Verdict: Frank Ntilikina PG 10 40.6 30.0 7.1 9.6 2.9 1.4 2.4 .448 .951 .468
Indiana Pacers - "Time for Shane Battier to join Sam Jones behind the barn."
Verdict: While Battier has had some good seasons in the league, and even some very good ones in his stint with the New Jersey Nets/Indiana Pacers, his offense just isn't there any more and Greek Sauce is ready to move into a larger role. Give the younger guy a chance Heebs!
Charlotte Hornets - "Detlef sucks now, oh god our pets' heads are falling off."
Verdict: This does not look good for Fecta. We've all known their biggest issue for a long time was finding quality depth behind very good starters. That can play for awhile if those starters remain elite, but right now...Detlef is staring down the barrel of being a bad player on a big, long contract. Unfortunately for Fecta, his cap situation is such that this offseason any team who wants Slava can get him by bidding over what would run Fecta over the hard cap. Some drastic changes are going to have to get made in Charlotte or this team could be toast.
Cleveland Cavaliers - "Kyle Korver is a max player."
Verdict: While his offense is elite, there's a reason that the Cavs are 3-5. They give up over 120 points per game, and Korver is a big part of that. However, this season is going to make some offers for Korver in FA next year pretty interesting.
Fort Wayne Pistons - "Worst tank ever?"
Verdict: For all of the tearing down GBG did a couple seasons back, all he has to show for the ten or so picks he's made in the last three seasons is a handful of bigs who don't fit in this league, a rich man's Kyle Korver, and a bad point guard. Yikes. How'd this guy win so many titles?
Milwaukee Bucks - "There are pieces here, but none of it works together. Burn it down."
Verdict: Duc has done admirably putting together somewhat competitive teams ever since he joined. He had some pieces when he started but also joined a team with a mortgaged future. Now that he has his picks available again, it's time to tear it down to the studs. He has some pieces but they clearly aren't working together, and it's time to aggressively burn it down.
Memphis Bobcats - "Nobody has ever done less with more than Odin is right now."
Verdict: With a bevy of promising young wings and a potentially great young PG, Odin is approaching Ian levels of taking pride in his ability to shamelessly tank. Time to win dude. Do it for the division.
Midwest Division - "This is a slaughterhouse of a division. Best division in the league."
Verdict: I'm guessing at least one person voted Minny for best record in the league this year and I'm absolutely sure they got at least one vote to win the division. Right now they are second to last. The only team that doesn't have a positive point differential is the New Orleans Pelicans and they're not even doing a great job at tanking with three wins early on in the season. I'd hate to have to come out of this slaughterhouse.
Houston Rockets - "Early reports of our demise were false."
Verdict: Many suggested after the late season slide and the replacement of Baylor with Dillon Brooks that this may be it for this iteration of Ward's Rockets. Wrong. Shard and Paul are back better than ever and Brooks is sliding in well with them. This is a good team that will continue to be such.
Utah Jazz - "This is the dark horse to win a division of Giants."
Verdict: SPL is doing his best Stone Cold impression this season. Expected by many to be on the outside of the playoffs looking in, the Jazz have come out this season and knocked off good teams on the way to one of the best records and point differentials in a division full of teams like the Rockets, Spurs, and Timberwolves many would have expected to be more likely to be elite.
San Antonio Spurs: "This TimPig guy is a pretty good GM."
Verdict: Too early to give that kind of credit. Bruns left him a great franchise and he just hasn't ruined it yet. He'll take his lumps eventually.
Dallas Mavericks: "Congratulations to Ron Mercer, your 3048 Most Improved Player!"
Verdict: Sorry, that's Frank's award. But Mercer has still turned around what was a career of low volume, inefficient scoring in a big way. Hopefully this isn't a mirage for dirt, who could probably use the good news after Dajaun Wagner doesn't look all that hot so far in year 2.
Kansas City Kings: "MEH. Not a playoff team in this division."
Verdict: For a team with as many individual pieces to love as this Kings roster, the whole is definitely less than the sum of its' parts. Hate to see this. HOWEVER, I have to believe LBJ will be good enough to drag them to the playoffs.
Minnesota Timberwolves: "The biggest mistake of the offseason was not choosing to keep Jamychal Green on an MLE over Jason Richardson."
Verdict: This team is doing what we all thought it would do and scoring efficiently, but it desperately needs some shot-blocking. Green could have brought that while also being more of a two-way big and giving his offense one more option to attack. This is not an overreaction, that was a mistake.
New Orleans Pelicans: "There's no way Tim Thomas keeps this up."
Verdict: I don't know, man. After two seasons of low volume, inefficient work on the offensive end, Tim Thomas is putting up the best season of his career on offense while also playing Power Forward. Fucking software, man.
Pacific Division - "This division is Ian's to lose."
Verdict: Any division with Fason in it is his to lose.
Los Angeles Lakers - "Zaza Pachulia is the best two-way big in TMBSL right now."
Verdict: I don't get it either, man. I doubt it continues. I don't know what to believe in if he's not mediocre anymore. Also, no one cares about Hal Greer.
Seattle Supersonics - "This is the most balanced team in the league."
Verdict: I mean, the results speak for themselves. Fason has the most well-rounded group of players in the league.
Golden State Warriors - "Dude, give it up already."
Verdict: The players on the roster still have barely any trade value. Hurry up and trade them before you can't get anything.
Portland Trailblazers - "It's fine, everything's fine. We're fine."
Verdict: Majic was super hyped about this core coming to the season and frankly, so was I. I still like his young core, it just needs another year to season and he needs another offseason to supplement his frontcourt. Stay the course, Majic.
Vancouver Grizzlies - "How can you be so Harkless-less?"
Verdict: The clear issue with this team is a missing couple of pieces to round out their frontcourt rotation. Fortunately, the biggest piece to this puzzle is sitting on their roster. I love the idea of Harkless as a backup wing too, BUT PUT HIS ASS IN AT THE 4, YOUR TEAM IS BLEEDING POINTS. That is all.
San Diego Clippers - "Derek Anderson's breakout season is going to allow him to be the piece that kicks Yawn's rebuild into high gear."
Verdict: Hurry up Yawn, that breakout year looked a lot more breakout after Sim 1 than Sim 2.
Phoenix Suns - "Anthony Mason is the next great young wing in this league."
Verdict: Pump the breaks. Yes he can score. No he isn't doing it efficiently. Turnovers are a little high. Defense is a little non-existent. He has a way to go but the potential is there. At least he had a better TC than 1.1 Danny Manning.
