Post by Swaggy Z on Aug 14, 2014 19:47:11 GMT -6
Celtics - dump
Melissa McCarthy
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Dump is Melissa McCarthy, and not because I am saying he is fat or anything. I am saying that dump can use humor to his advantage at times and isn't as bad as people try and make him out to be. I cant say that he is an Andrew Garfield doppelganger but at first you look at him and you look at his teams and think thats some ugly shit, then you look closer and thing eh I'd fuck that. Like McCarthy a lot of people act like its fun to hate on dump or that it's uncool to admit hes not a bad guy.
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Hawks - Mr. Pole Smoker
Rachel Dratch
Mr. Pole Smoker is kind of awkward in a lot of things that he does. He looks awkward, he GMs awkward, he commas awkward. The first impression of Dratch is holy shit thats an ugly face, kind of like when looking at Mr. Pole Smoker’s trades instantly, you think lol what an idiot. Howaver if you give it time and you see her without an awkward face she is somewhat fuckable and Mr. Pole Smoker can lead his team to the top of the standings.
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Pistons - tyler
Rando butter face
Tyler is the only one who doesn't get a celebrity, he gets a butterfaced fox. I mean what do we really know about Tyler other than hes a backwoods Auburn boy with an affinity for Kansas Basketball and Busch heavy. We question everything he does and think he is an idiot when really what I am trying to say is damn that body makes up for all of the weird.
Mavericks - soup
Kate Upton
The way I look at it is Soup and Kate Upton are a little bigger, beautiful inside and out, american as hell and like to have fun. Soup is a premier GM here in TMBSL and can really make most situations work for him. Upton is a model who even when looking a little chubby has away of grabbing and your attention. She is considered one of the best at what she does at the moment and like Soup just needs to start doing porn.
Rockets - dil
Emma Watson
Im not sure this is the best comparison but it works for me. Dil always seems younger to me or has that young babyfaced look. Emma Watson doesnt seem a day over 17. Dil is a great GM who is probably a tad underrated in the day to day workings of the sim league, similar to the fact that Emma Watson is severely underrated when being judged by many guys because she doesnt have that slutty look to her. Dil and Emma just has timeless as you can get.
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Jazz - 2poor
Kristen Stewart
This was probably the easiest one for me. See 2poor can be a little cunty at times, somewhat artificial but no matter what in 4.0 things have gone right and he is hot right now. Two titles, lotto win for John Wall and another shittastic record. You may suffer from bitch face but it just doesnt matter or affect my opinion of your sexiness.
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Warriors - devine
Tila Tequila
Tiny little people who are pretty damn annoying at times. Tila Tequila can drive me nuts just like Devine does to the league but she has her good qualities. She is somewhat attractive, she seems like a freak and I can only imagine what she could do with my dick. Devine has his good qualities such as helping create threads for me to pad posts, drinking coors light and trying his best to get into a fist fight.
Lakers - buster
Shawn Johnson
While Buster and Johnson don't share many of the same qualities in the looks department, they do share that good ol midwest Iowa charm. Johnson and Buster are both great at what they do and know how to win and can be considered two of the best at what they do even if Johnson is retired now. If you dont love Buster and Johnson, then leave.
Clippers - dirt
Lindsay Lohan
Dirt seems like a scraggly druggie who enjoys having a good time. Every now and then does something that really makes you lose faith in them and honestly questions why you were willing to fuck em. Then shit turns around and you remember that they understand what they are doing and how to market that to the best of their abilities.
Bankz
Snooki
Bankz was always going to be someone from the Jersey Shore cast for me, I just wasn't sure the best fit. Then it hit me, Snooki! Bankz can bitch and moan with the best of them, he loves his Italian heritage and somewhat has a knack for showing his vagina at times. See I have met Snooki and her family and she was normal, a pretty decent chick and nothing like how she was on the show. I too have met bankz and he is a faggot. JK he too is a great guy and not much like how he is online at all.
Odin
Jordin Sparks
Odin is of course a gigantic man, I then looked for a gigantic woman who was not of the tiniest variety. Jordin Sparks was the perfect fit at a little thicky thick but pretty damn tall. Jordin Sparks has been successful after american idol with music, movies and more. Odin is pretty good with GM’ing, commishing and video games.
Suns - ankly
Jessica Simpson
Oh boy, easy fit. Ank and Simpson were both damn fine at one point in their careers. You had immense respect for both of them and appreciate dtheir work. Then all of a sudden chicken of the entire sea was eaten and she got fat. Ank got weird and started doing dumb trades. The thing is that you can realistically expect them to come back to where they were and get you a little hard at times.
Melissa McCarthy
Dump is Melissa McCarthy, and not because I am saying he is fat or anything. I am saying that dump can use humor to his advantage at times and isn't as bad as people try and make him out to be. I cant say that he is an Andrew Garfield doppelganger but at first you look at him and you look at his teams and think thats some ugly shit, then you look closer and thing eh I'd fuck that. Like McCarthy a lot of people act like its fun to hate on dump or that it's uncool to admit hes not a bad guy.
Hawks - Mr. Pole Smoker
Rachel Dratch
Mr. Pole Smoker is kind of awkward in a lot of things that he does. He looks awkward, he GMs awkward, he commas awkward. The first impression of Dratch is holy shit thats an ugly face, kind of like when looking at Mr. Pole Smoker’s trades instantly, you think lol what an idiot. Howaver if you give it time and you see her without an awkward face she is somewhat fuckable and Mr. Pole Smoker can lead his team to the top of the standings.
Pistons - tyler
Rando butter face
Tyler is the only one who doesn't get a celebrity, he gets a butterfaced fox. I mean what do we really know about Tyler other than hes a backwoods Auburn boy with an affinity for Kansas Basketball and Busch heavy. We question everything he does and think he is an idiot when really what I am trying to say is damn that body makes up for all of the weird.
Mavericks - soup
Kate Upton
The way I look at it is Soup and Kate Upton are a little bigger, beautiful inside and out, american as hell and like to have fun. Soup is a premier GM here in TMBSL and can really make most situations work for him. Upton is a model who even when looking a little chubby has away of grabbing and your attention. She is considered one of the best at what she does at the moment and like Soup just needs to start doing porn.
Rockets - dil
Emma Watson
Im not sure this is the best comparison but it works for me. Dil always seems younger to me or has that young babyfaced look. Emma Watson doesnt seem a day over 17. Dil is a great GM who is probably a tad underrated in the day to day workings of the sim league, similar to the fact that Emma Watson is severely underrated when being judged by many guys because she doesnt have that slutty look to her. Dil and Emma just has timeless as you can get.
Jazz - 2poor
Kristen Stewart
This was probably the easiest one for me. See 2poor can be a little cunty at times, somewhat artificial but no matter what in 4.0 things have gone right and he is hot right now. Two titles, lotto win for John Wall and another shittastic record. You may suffer from bitch face but it just doesnt matter or affect my opinion of your sexiness.
Warriors - devine
Tila Tequila
Tiny little people who are pretty damn annoying at times. Tila Tequila can drive me nuts just like Devine does to the league but she has her good qualities. She is somewhat attractive, she seems like a freak and I can only imagine what she could do with my dick. Devine has his good qualities such as helping create threads for me to pad posts, drinking coors light and trying his best to get into a fist fight.
Lakers - buster
Shawn Johnson
While Buster and Johnson don't share many of the same qualities in the looks department, they do share that good ol midwest Iowa charm. Johnson and Buster are both great at what they do and know how to win and can be considered two of the best at what they do even if Johnson is retired now. If you dont love Buster and Johnson, then leave.
Clippers - dirt
Lindsay Lohan
Dirt seems like a scraggly druggie who enjoys having a good time. Every now and then does something that really makes you lose faith in them and honestly questions why you were willing to fuck em. Then shit turns around and you remember that they understand what they are doing and how to market that to the best of their abilities.
Bankz
Snooki
Bankz was always going to be someone from the Jersey Shore cast for me, I just wasn't sure the best fit. Then it hit me, Snooki! Bankz can bitch and moan with the best of them, he loves his Italian heritage and somewhat has a knack for showing his vagina at times. See I have met Snooki and her family and she was normal, a pretty decent chick and nothing like how she was on the show. I too have met bankz and he is a faggot. JK he too is a great guy and not much like how he is online at all.
Odin
Jordin Sparks
Odin is of course a gigantic man, I then looked for a gigantic woman who was not of the tiniest variety. Jordin Sparks was the perfect fit at a little thicky thick but pretty damn tall. Jordin Sparks has been successful after american idol with music, movies and more. Odin is pretty good with GM’ing, commishing and video games.
Suns - ankly
Jessica Simpson
Oh boy, easy fit. Ank and Simpson were both damn fine at one point in their careers. You had immense respect for both of them and appreciate dtheir work. Then all of a sudden chicken of the entire sea was eaten and she got fat. Ank got weird and started doing dumb trades. The thing is that you can realistically expect them to come back to where they were and get you a little hard at times.
