Post by Lazy Pete on Oct 14, 2014 20:50:55 GMT -6
10. Read a good book
You’ve got tons of time now to sift through a novel. I would recommend a classic, like the Brothers Karamazov or Don Quixote. I’ve heard a lot of buzz about this Hunger Games trilogy, and The Fault in Our Stars is also supposed to be very good. Reading will help boost your vocabulary, introduce you to new and fascinating opinions. Additionally, it will help provide you with conversation topics now that you will be forced to communicate with coworkers rather than discussing sim league events on shout.
9. Learn a foreign language
You thought it was fun to call RW a fag in english? Why not expand your range and learn how to call him a puto, pederaste or schwulen? Learning a new language not only enables you to communicate to a whole new subset of people, but it will also impress friends and family who previously considered you to be an uncultured lout.
8. Reconnect with loved ones
With a lack of sim league activity, you will likely find yourself forced to communicate again with family and friends that you have been ignoring for weeks. Rather than thinking of this as a chore or an annoyance that prevents you from scouring box scores to find the best depth chart combination, embrace your newfound time and catch up with them. You’ll be surprised at the amount of things that have changed in their lives since the last time you actually listened to what they said. If you have children, don’t be surprised to find that they may have grown several inches taller since you last really looked at them. Resist the urge to rank your family based on a numerical/letter grade system. While this may help you transition from sim league to real life again, some may not appreciate being told that they have A- handles.
7. Pick up a new hobby
Here are some fun hobbies to pick up in lieu of sim leaguing! Learn how to build a ship in a bottle. The concentration and intricacies of ship-in-a-bottle building will help to ease your mind from worrying about how much you should bid for that mid-level FA. Other fun hobbies you might consider include: juggling, leather crafting, scrap-booking, taxidermy, stamp collecting, cryptography, CB radio, Capoeira, couponing, knitting, and aircraft spotting. You’d be surprised how quickly you forget about sim league once you spot your first Cessna.
6. Clean the filth that you find yourself living in
If you’re anything like I am, then the area that you live in has become rundown and downright unsafe to live in, thanks to gross negligence of even the most basic household tasks. Take this newfound free time to do simple cleaning tasks like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, polishing, and taking out the trash. While it might not seem worth it in the moment, the satisfaction that you will gain once you find yourself in a clean room/house/apartment will ultimately make all that hard work feel worthwhile.
5. Start an on-line dating profile
This one goes out to all the single gents in TMBSL. Listen, you’re not getting any younger. It’s time to get while the getting’s good and find yourself a lady (or man) to share your life with. Seeing as how you’ve already shown a propensity for social interaction via the internet, your best bet is to seek companionship via one of the many popular dating sites. E-Harmony seems to have the most commercials, but don’t be afraid to segment yourself into smaller populations by seeking out one of the niche dating sites, such as J-Date, BlackPeopleMeet.com, or Farmersonly.com. Also, don’t forget to take care of your personal hygiene before meeting anyone in person. You’ll find that your hair and facial hair has grown unkempt, and your finger and toe nails need trimming. Take care of these and you’ll be in the clear!
4. Watch the actual NBA
We may only be into preseason action at the moment, but the NBA will be heating up shortly, so why wait? Start reading the season preview articles available and keep up on the most current news so that, when the NBA season does begin in earnest, you can impress all of your real life friends with your vast knowledge. Again, make sure that you don’t confuse real life with sim league, so you don’t go through the embarrassment of telling people how good you think Paul Westphal will be this season or whether the Sonics will remain a playoff team. This will only irritate and anger others.
3. Climb Mt. Everest
Let’s face it, this is on everyone’s bucket list. Well, what better time than the present? Find yourself some able-bodied sherpas, buy a nice warm coat, and set out on the first flight to Nepal. The view from up there is supposed to be amazing, and you’ll tread where only a few thousand people have ever tread before. It may seem a little cliched, but once you are there you’ll be thankful that you made the trip.
2. Get a head start on your 2014 income tax filings
It’s never too early to get started on your tax filings for the calendar year. While the forms and final figures might not yet be ready to do the meat and potatoes of your income tax filing, it is still important to ensure your backup documents are in place already. Here’s a tip: Start counting your dependents now. When April comes around, you don’t want to be sitting around wondering whether you remembered to count ALL of your illegitimate children. Instead, start a list now, and consult with each of your wives/children’s mothers to ensure that you don’t miss one. In a couple months, you’ll be glad you did.
1. Drink heavily and use copious illicit drugs
Let’s face it, this is really the only solution that anyone here will actually take. Drinking until you blackout is cheap. It helps blunt the pain of facing reality, and makes all of the other items listed here much more fun to complete. Some may prefer to alter their consciousness through marijuana or other illicit drugs. These will also help to dull the monotony of everyday life without sim league. Humanity is cursed with the knowledge that everyone and everything you know will eventually expire. Without things like sim league, we must rely more and more on substances that will help us to temporarily forget our own mortality, or at least look at it in new and interesting ways.
