Christmas gifts for East GMs
Dec 25, 2015 3:00:29 GMT -6
Souper Troopers, kn88, and 2 more like this
Post by Odin on Dec 25, 2015 3:00:29 GMT -6
Devine - Atlanta Hawks
First of all I'd like to welcome back my good friend Devine. I've missed you, man. But now to the point. This Christmas I would like to give Devine the patience to get through these next few seasons with that trash roster so he can tank and build his own team. I'm actually not sure if I've ever seen him build a team from scratch so I'm very excited about that.
I do apologize for my trade with KN not working out. I would have loved to have given you your picks back in exchange for a dude or two, but it didn't play out that way. Best of luck regardless and despite the haters I am truly glad to see you back.
rv12 - Charlotte Hornets
rv and I have had an odd history. Our first real interactions was playing apples to apples on tmb but we all got pretty bored of that quickly. Then I joined TMBBSL (the TMB baseball sim league) and he was a member. In one of our first conversations there he informed me that he could never trust me because I'm "too weird". I may be weird but I can definitely be trusted. Months later after Druce stepped down as commish rv and I took on the job and functioned as co-commishes and we grew a bit closer then. After a while there I was invited over here to join the glorious TMBSL. Eventually 2.0 ended and I started up 4.0. At that point RV decided I didn't like him (for whatever reason) and it got pretty damn annoying to tell you the truth so I just started continuously bashing the guy. Just because your players bust or you aren't constantly winning titles doesn't mean the commish hates you.
But for your gift, I would like to give you a lucky rabbit's foot, a seven leaf clover, the donbots lucky robot foot, and an apology for whatever I may have done to put us where we are today. You've been so unlucky in the league for so long and you deserve a change.
Bruns - Chicago Bulls
There's not too many of my fellow stoners in the league anymore with duc and ocho gone and dirt being a responsible adult. Bruns and I joined the league at the same time in the same division so I've always kind of considered him to be my biggest rival. A friendly rivalry, but a rivalry nonetheless. Bruns had an incredible amount of talent on those OScar/Emeka teams and they're probably the most talented teams to never win a championship. Unfortunately for Bruns I gave all of my luck boosting items to rv so he'll have to settle for something a bit more fun.
My Christmas gift to Bruns is a gas mask bong. They completely obliterate you, even at my level of tolerance and I imagine Bruns' is somewhat similar.
Shaun - Cleveland Cavaliers
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Lebron, nuff said
JW - Indiana Pacers
I like JW but he's one of the worst GMs in the league, but honestly, someone has to be. Luckily he has a couple of decent pieces on his roster and has been competing for a minute. However, that team could have been so much better. Had he not trade for Rolando Blackman he could have ended up with the top 2 picks and that draft. LJ + Lockhart would have made this a championship calibur team but instead it's growing closer and closer to rooins. Best part is he won't even trade with me anymore.
So for this Christmas I'd like to give JW the ability to take back that trade and see what LF/Lockhart/Cousy can do.
Trofie - Milwaukee Bucks
Trofie is one of the best GMs we have in the league. Unfortunately he's so obsessed with trading that it ends up hurting him. I mean serious, why trade Blair? Now Brooks AND Anderson are on the block? Hang on to some players dude. You'll never have a good team if you sell everyone off before their rookie contract is over. So my gift to you is the same as what I got Devine (sorry). I give you patience. Get used to that and you'll be back to being a perennial title contender easily.
Pistol - Toronto Raptors
Pistol has had quite the decent career since joining. He's even won a title which I, in my 30 sim seasons of experience have never done. Unfortunately, that was done in Canada and no one other than The Banks cares about Canada. Luckily for him, my gift will solve all of those problems. I gift to you 3.5 grams of pure MDMA and the ability to relocate to somewhere more civilized.
Dump - Boston Celtics
Dump has finally scorched his roster and good for him. Perhaps he's trying to avoid a continuted bankz' tank or maybe he just said fuck it and dropped a bomb on the TMBSL equivalent of Syria. I've got to applaud him though, he didn't wait too long to trade Aguirre like he did Drexler so that's an improvement. Unfortunately for dump he's drafted like shit for a long time now save for Aguirre. Now that he has the most barren roster in the league he should lock up a top 4 pick every year for the next few, and that will be very useful this year considering there's 6-7 guys you could arguably take at #1.
To Dump: I did not resim your championship run. From: Odin/Logan/that tall guy. Merry Christmas.
Canes - Heat
This is such a classic canes team. Old as shit and not really producing, which is perfectly fine with me since I have their pick next year. Really, the only thing I have to say here is ha. hahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahha.
My gift to you is more of a suggestion: stop thinking all of your players have extreme value. You currently have no one with any real value outside of a 32 year old Selvy.
Heebs - Brooklyn Nets
See, the thing about heebs is I think we are very similar, which a trade between the two of us will likely never happen. I like the guy though, he's done a good bit for the league since joining (still waiting on that clarified list of rules). But really, what do you get someone who already has everything?
You get him a better team name because the Nets is a terribly boring name.
Eric - New York Knicks
I only trust about 30% of the info you post because I think you would get vastly different results with a normal league that ran for more than one season.
I gift to you 2 hours with Kina. I'm sure that's plenty of time for you to awkwardly stare at her and accomplish nothing.
JHB - Orlando Magic
Although the Magic will always be the team I want the most, I'm glad to have JHB back even though he's developing trofie's affinity for trading good young players for no reason.
You get coal.
Fason - Sixers
Fason is currently the only team to lose 500 straight game. The only person who allowed Catfish to score up to his ability. And the only person whose name I pronounce incorrectly and just don't give a shit about it. The guy has a nice little team right now and should be able to stay competitive with a decent replacement for aging superstar Shareef.
My gift to you is nothing because Santa's Bag is empty :(
kn88 = Washington Bullets
Big fan of kn, would be a bigger fan had we been able to knock out a Turner trade by now but unfortunately we have not. Well, keeping on keeping on my man.
My gift could have easily been turner but it didn't play out that way, instead you get a Gen 1 Collecter's Edition of Pokemon Monopoly.
Merry Christmas everyone in the East. Go fuck yourselves West.
First of all I'd like to welcome back my good friend Devine. I've missed you, man. But now to the point. This Christmas I would like to give Devine the patience to get through these next few seasons with that trash roster so he can tank and build his own team. I'm actually not sure if I've ever seen him build a team from scratch so I'm very excited about that.
I do apologize for my trade with KN not working out. I would have loved to have given you your picks back in exchange for a dude or two, but it didn't play out that way. Best of luck regardless and despite the haters I am truly glad to see you back.
rv12 - Charlotte Hornets
rv and I have had an odd history. Our first real interactions was playing apples to apples on tmb but we all got pretty bored of that quickly. Then I joined TMBBSL (the TMB baseball sim league) and he was a member. In one of our first conversations there he informed me that he could never trust me because I'm "too weird". I may be weird but I can definitely be trusted. Months later after Druce stepped down as commish rv and I took on the job and functioned as co-commishes and we grew a bit closer then. After a while there I was invited over here to join the glorious TMBSL. Eventually 2.0 ended and I started up 4.0. At that point RV decided I didn't like him (for whatever reason) and it got pretty damn annoying to tell you the truth so I just started continuously bashing the guy. Just because your players bust or you aren't constantly winning titles doesn't mean the commish hates you.
But for your gift, I would like to give you a lucky rabbit's foot, a seven leaf clover, the donbots lucky robot foot, and an apology for whatever I may have done to put us where we are today. You've been so unlucky in the league for so long and you deserve a change.
Bruns - Chicago Bulls
There's not too many of my fellow stoners in the league anymore with duc and ocho gone and dirt being a responsible adult. Bruns and I joined the league at the same time in the same division so I've always kind of considered him to be my biggest rival. A friendly rivalry, but a rivalry nonetheless. Bruns had an incredible amount of talent on those OScar/Emeka teams and they're probably the most talented teams to never win a championship. Unfortunately for Bruns I gave all of my luck boosting items to rv so he'll have to settle for something a bit more fun.
My Christmas gift to Bruns is a gas mask bong. They completely obliterate you, even at my level of tolerance and I imagine Bruns' is somewhat similar.
Shaun - Cleveland Cavaliers
Lebron, nuff said
JW - Indiana Pacers
I like JW but he's one of the worst GMs in the league, but honestly, someone has to be. Luckily he has a couple of decent pieces on his roster and has been competing for a minute. However, that team could have been so much better. Had he not trade for Rolando Blackman he could have ended up with the top 2 picks and that draft. LJ + Lockhart would have made this a championship calibur team but instead it's growing closer and closer to rooins. Best part is he won't even trade with me anymore.
So for this Christmas I'd like to give JW the ability to take back that trade and see what LF/Lockhart/Cousy can do.
Trofie - Milwaukee Bucks
Trofie is one of the best GMs we have in the league. Unfortunately he's so obsessed with trading that it ends up hurting him. I mean serious, why trade Blair? Now Brooks AND Anderson are on the block? Hang on to some players dude. You'll never have a good team if you sell everyone off before their rookie contract is over. So my gift to you is the same as what I got Devine (sorry). I give you patience. Get used to that and you'll be back to being a perennial title contender easily.
Pistol - Toronto Raptors
Pistol has had quite the decent career since joining. He's even won a title which I, in my 30 sim seasons of experience have never done. Unfortunately, that was done in Canada and no one other than The Banks cares about Canada. Luckily for him, my gift will solve all of those problems. I gift to you 3.5 grams of pure MDMA and the ability to relocate to somewhere more civilized.
Dump - Boston Celtics
Dump has finally scorched his roster and good for him. Perhaps he's trying to avoid a continuted bankz' tank or maybe he just said fuck it and dropped a bomb on the TMBSL equivalent of Syria. I've got to applaud him though, he didn't wait too long to trade Aguirre like he did Drexler so that's an improvement. Unfortunately for dump he's drafted like shit for a long time now save for Aguirre. Now that he has the most barren roster in the league he should lock up a top 4 pick every year for the next few, and that will be very useful this year considering there's 6-7 guys you could arguably take at #1.
To Dump: I did not resim your championship run. From: Odin/Logan/that tall guy. Merry Christmas.
Canes - Heat
This is such a classic canes team. Old as shit and not really producing, which is perfectly fine with me since I have their pick next year. Really, the only thing I have to say here is ha. hahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahha.
My gift to you is more of a suggestion: stop thinking all of your players have extreme value. You currently have no one with any real value outside of a 32 year old Selvy.
Heebs - Brooklyn Nets
See, the thing about heebs is I think we are very similar, which a trade between the two of us will likely never happen. I like the guy though, he's done a good bit for the league since joining (still waiting on that clarified list of rules). But really, what do you get someone who already has everything?
You get him a better team name because the Nets is a terribly boring name.
Eric - New York Knicks
I only trust about 30% of the info you post because I think you would get vastly different results with a normal league that ran for more than one season.
I gift to you 2 hours with Kina. I'm sure that's plenty of time for you to awkwardly stare at her and accomplish nothing.
JHB - Orlando Magic
Although the Magic will always be the team I want the most, I'm glad to have JHB back even though he's developing trofie's affinity for trading good young players for no reason.
You get coal.
Fason - Sixers
Fason is currently the only team to lose 500 straight game. The only person who allowed Catfish to score up to his ability. And the only person whose name I pronounce incorrectly and just don't give a shit about it. The guy has a nice little team right now and should be able to stay competitive with a decent replacement for aging superstar Shareef.
My gift to you is nothing because Santa's Bag is empty :(
kn88 = Washington Bullets
Big fan of kn, would be a bigger fan had we been able to knock out a Turner trade by now but unfortunately we have not. Well, keeping on keeping on my man.
My gift could have easily been turner but it didn't play out that way, instead you get a Gen 1 Collecter's Edition of Pokemon Monopoly.
Merry Christmas everyone in the East. Go fuck yourselves West.
